The Best Salespeople Don't Try to Sell You

I think a lot of people hear the word "sales" and immediately picture someone trying to convince them of something. A script. A pitch. An objection to overcome. Somebody trying to get you to say yes. My conversation with Cam Tolman went in a completely different direction. Cam calls himself the non-sales sales coach, and what I appreciate about his approach is that he does not start with, “How do I get this person to buy?” He starts with something much more human: Do I actually understand this person, what they are experiencing, and whether I can help them? That changes the entire conversation. We talked about how curiosity builds trust, why listening matters more than having the perfect presentation, why sometimes the most trustworthy thing you can do is tell somebody your product is not right for them, and why people are much more willing to move when they feel like the decision still belongs to them. There was one point in the conversation where Cam said trust comes from shutting up and listening. That sounds simple, but think about how often we actually do the opposite. We listen while preparing our response. We ask a question because we already know where we want the conversation to go. We wait for the opening to explain our solution. And this goes way beyond selling. We do it with our employees. We do it with our kids. We do it with the people we love. Sometimes we are so focused on giving someone the answer that we never give them enough space to understand themselves. Cam shared that this has become part of how he is trying to show up as a father too. Instead of immediately giving his boys the solution, he is learning to ask better questions and allow them to arrive at their own conclusions, even when he would choose a different path. That really stayed with me. Because connection is not always giving somebody what we think they need. Sometimes connection is staying curious long enough to understand what they actually need. We also talked about leadership and purpose, and one of the ideas I hope every leader hears is this: Do not assume people know the impact they are having. I saw this constantly in healthcare. Someone in billing might believe they are processing codes. Someone in housekeeping might believe they are cleaning a room. A pharmaceutical representative might believe they are having another conversation with a physician. But when you connect that person to the human being on the other side of their work, everything changes. You are not processing a code. You are helping somebody receive cancer treatment. You are not cleaning a room. You are creating a safer environment for somebody who is fighting for their health. You are not just sharing information. Something you brought into that conversation may help somebody have more birthdays. That is purpose. And leaders have a responsibility to help people see it. Cam and I also got into something much more personal: what happens when professional success and personal connection stop lining up. We talked about time, our kids, presence, gratitude, and the realization that we can always make more money, but we cannot manufacture more time. That part of the conversation is bigger than sales. It is about what matters. Listen to the full conversation with Cam Tolman on Living The Sweet Life. Then ask yourself: Am I trying to convince people, or am I taking enough time to understand them? Connect with Cam Tolman PitchDown: https://www.pitchdown.com/ LinkedIn:   / camerontolman   Cam also offers sales coaching, training, speaking, and the PitchDown methodology centered on buyer understanding, curiosity, trust, and better conversations. Connect with me Website: https://tjsweet.com Instagram:   / thetjsweet   LinkedIn:   / thetjsweet   YouTube:    / @thetjsweet   Subscribe to Living The Sweet Life for more conversations around human connection, purpose, gratitude, leadership, and living with intention.