When Your Ex Controls the Story: How Do You Stay Grounded

When you're going through separation, it can be incredibly difficult when your ex starts telling a version of the story that you don't believe is true. You may feel the need to defend yourself, correct people or make sure everyone hears your side. But constantly responding can create more conflict and leave you feeling even more overwhelmed. In this LinkedIn Live, Thad Hollis, Divorce Coach, Mediator and Conflict Coach, talks about how to stay grounded when your ex is controlling the narrative. He shares practical ways to manage gossip, respond without escalating conflict, protect children from adult issues and focus on what you can actually control. Sometimes, the strongest response isn't winning the argument. It's being consistent in your behaviour and staying focused on what matters. In this video, Thad discusses: Why we feel the need to defend our side of the story When a response isn't necessary How to avoid getting drawn into conflict Managing gossip and the "court of public opinion" What to do when false claims could affect your reputation or employment Keeping children out of adult conflict Why consistency matters more than defending yourself Taking time before responding to difficult messages Communicating calmly during separation Focusing on what you can control The importance of kindness, compassion and consideration Conflict is inevitable. Combat is optional. Chapters 00:00 Introduction: When Your Ex Controls the Story 01:28 Conflict Is Inevitable, Combat Is Optional 02:44 Why It Feels So Important to Tell Your Side 03:42 Who Should You Talk To? 04:46 Remember What You Know and Experienced 05:47 The Court of Public Opinion 06:34 Does It Really Need a Response? 08:14 When False Claims Require Legal Advice 09:02 Don't Put Children in the Middle 10:12 Be Consistent in Your Behaviour 11:27 Stay in Your Lane and Focus on What You Control 12:05 Choosing How and When to Communicate 13:37 You Don't Have to Respond Immediately 14:42 Keep Your Communication Calm and Simple 15:21 Name the Facts and Let Go of What You Can't Control 16:22 Be Calm, Honest, Respectful and Present 17:05 Why Reacting in the Moment Makes Things Worse 17:46 Find the Right Support 18:25 You May Never Make Everyone Understand 19:03 Stay Grounded and Don't Turn It Into a Contest 19:44 The Three Cs: Kindness, Compassion and Consideration 20:25 Let Your Behaviour Speak for You 21:36 Final Thoughts